the other day we were discussing dating and this one dude was like “I don’t see the big deal why can’t people just ask people out without all the fuss” and another guy was like “well you get nervous and you get butterflies in your stomach ya know” and the first dude looked the other dude straight in the eye and said “DIGEST THEM.”
THIS HAS TOO MANY NOTES
So I don’t think those free condoms universities hand out suck as much as guys say they do.
Okay, but seriously. If you’re ever considering sexy times with a guy and he tells you that he can’t wear a condom there is a 100.3% chance that he is a liar, and you should definitely not have sex with him. Don’t have sex with liars. Have sex with a cute honest people that bring you ice cream the next morning. Liars do not bring you ice cream. And if they do it’s ice cream made of lies. Ice cream made of lies is very emotionally unfulfilling. Don’t trust liars or their disease-ridden ice cream.
that was the best safe-sex talk ever.
You’re your own team now. It’s better. You’re X-Men.
I want a remote that makes people shut the fuck up with the click of a button
this has too many notes to be safe
i’m on mobile and it doesn’t load the image but from my experience with this website i guess it’s a gun
“So light a fire!" Harry choked.
“Yes…of course…but there’s no wood!” Hermione cried, wringing her hands.
“HAVE YOU GONE MAD!” Ron bellowed. “ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT!”
Find more funny excerpts on MuggleNet
Isn’t something wrong with that title ?